Cocktail Anyone...

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My son was visiting my parents for the past four days and today I picked him up.

I missed him so much; if you're a parent you know that when one of your kids is away you feel like a piece is missing from you. I was so happy to see him and hear him say "I missed you mama".

Then do you know what happened? Him and his sister started to fight. They hadn't seen each other for four days and the first thing they do is fight. My chronic migraine that mysteriously disappeared when my children were separated suddenly came back with a vengeance.

I went from missing all of my children being with me to fantasizing about running to my car and driving away with the tires squealing and the kids and my mom staring at the tail end of my car, slack jawed. Didn't happen but it feels good to think of such things sometimes.

I only have five more days to go until my son starts Kindergarten and I have a little peace from the fighting every weekday afternoon. I will miss Tyler but Lord, oh Lord will I enjoy not wanting to bash my head into the wall trying to drown out the whining, shrieking and tattling. I'm sure a nice cocktail would have the same effect but for some reason a mom drinking during the day is frowned upon...

I Guess I'll Sleep When I'm Dead...

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I am tired. It seems as if no matter when I go to bed at night or when I wake up I am still tired.

No, I'm not sick- I suppose a lot of it has to do with a nine month old baby who still does not sleep through the night. She wakes up around midnight to eat; I nurse her in bed and she sleeps between my husband and I. She then wakes up again for a little snacky-snack. Why not, right? My boobs are right there- I guess it would be like me standing in front of the refrigerator when there is yummy food in it, why not indulge because it's in front of your face?

I know that I could stop this waking up thing if I left her in her crib until she passed out from crying but I can't do that. First of all, I feel bad when my child has tears streaming down her face because she wants her mommy. If she is crying and looking for me I want to be there for her, even if it means that I end up feeling like a truck ran me over, backed up, and ran me over again. Second of all, even if I were okay with her screaming and feeling abandoned, she shares a room with her older sister. Dealing with one child in the middle of the night stinks but it's doable; dealing with two children in the middle of the night is something that I will avoid at all costs. My three year old daughter is a hot mess when she gets woken up and would make even Super Nanny want to claw her eyeballs out. Therefore, sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed with twenty-four hour milk service it is.

I do have a line that I draw though- when she is done eating the nursing bra gets buckled back up. I am not a human pacifier, especially since Jilly now has teeth. I want to go to sleep with two intact nipples and wake up with two intact nipples. This seems to really piss her off to the point that some nights she won't fall back asleep and her and I end up on the couch watching Mad Men until the wee hours of the morning. What a glamorous life I lead.

If all of that isn't stupendous enough, Jilly has taken to waking up at five am every morning bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for the day. five am is an un-Godly hour for me to wake up at, especially after her night time antics. I am not a morning person- I never have been one and though I have tried, I will never be one. Every cell in my body detests early mornings and I am a terrible person to be around before 8 am. So, every morning I grumble and say a few swear words under my breath, take Jilly downstairs, plop her in her play area, lay on the couch with my eyes closed and then listen to her cry for twenty minutes because she doesn't want to play. I roll off the couch, change her diaper because she pooped all over herself in protest of me daring to put her down and begrudgingly start my day way to stinking early.

Wash, rinse and repeat- that has been my life for the past few weeks. Don't even ask about daytime naps- those are words that do not even exist in Jilly's language. I always think of the people who tell me that I'll miss these moments when she is grown and then I imagine punching said people in the face. I miss sleep- I haven't had a good nights sleep since I became pregnany with Jilly. It's been eighteen months people! EIGHTEEN MONTHS! How much longer can this go on?

Pain in the Butt...

I just got my Toys R Us rewards in my email, fifty dollars worth from getting 10% back from my December purchases.

I'm not sure how excited I am though for a few reasons:

A. they are only for in-store purchases- I hate going to stores to shop and really hate taking my kids with me, especially to a toy store
B. they need to all be used in the next month- $25 worth need to be used by January 13th and $25 are valid between January 14th and January 28th; I am so sick of toys and gifts that I have no desire to buy anything of those sorts i the next month plus, as stated in A. I have no desire to visit Toys R Us twice in one month
C. why the hell can't they give us a break and allow them to be used on diapers- though I don't see wipes excluded...

I suppose I'm the only person in the world who would complain about rewards but I'm at a point in life right now where convenience is king so having to go to a store to redeem rewards for stuff that I don't actually need is annoying. Will I still do it? You betcha because I can't stand to waste $50.

My Day Will Suck...

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My mom is taking the kids for the day because I have a doctor's appointment so I sat up late making my battle plan.

First, I will drop off the monsters and wish my mom luck. I will burn rubber out of her driveway before she has a chance to take back her offer of watching the kids all day.

I will then go to my appointment which includes the dumb blood glucose test. I have never had gestational diabetes and really doubt I have it now. I will drink the gross drink and sit for an hour all the while reading a book and staring at my watch. Once done, my day really begins.

On my agenda are the following things:
-return pants I ordered online to The Children's Place
-go to BJ's for random stuff we need
-go to Target for random food that we need plus maybe I'll sneak in some deals
-find a comforter or quilt for my daughter's new bed
-maybe hit up Joann fabrics (if I find a comforter I like) to buy fabric for bed/crib skirts, curtains and pillow covers

I will eat lunch somewhere in there (most likely something really unhealthy but really yummy)...

Then, before I know it, it will be time to pick up the kids who will most certainly be hopped up on sugar.  Once I force them into their car seats I will be subjected to snoring from my son and screaming from my daughter the whole way home all the while counting down until bedtime.

Looking back on the day I will kick myself for not just taking a nap instead of running around like a crazy person.

Not having the kids for the day is more stressful than having them all day... go figure.

Nursery School Registration

Yesterday my son's school sent home a paper to register for Fall 2011. It seems a bit early to be thinking about next year but I guess spots fill up fast.

Now, I have been on the fence about whether I like his school or not. The teachers are nice and he really likes it but they do silly assessments that I do not agree with. They also think my son may have sensory issues because he stands too close to the other kids which I know is total B.S. (why must evey little behavior have a label attached to it- God only knows what labels teachers would have put on me if I were a kid today). Oh yeah, he is also the only boy in his class (there are four classes). Something seems wrong about there being three girls and him- the girls clique off together and he is left out. In his class picture they had the three girls standing together holding up the class sign in front of a wooden train in the play yard and my son was standing by himself in the train- it kind of bothered me seeing that but maybe I am overreacting. Supposedly there are going to be more boys in his class after the holidays.

So, what do I do? I was leaning towards keeping him in his current school but after reading back what I just wrote I don't know. I feel like I may be wrong about my feelings because everyone else seems to love the school but at the same time as a mom my gut tells me I am right. Am I being too picky? The only thing I want is a nursery school where the kids can be kids and play and if they learn things while doing it- good for them. I don't care if my son knows how to correctly hold a pencil or write his name at the ripe old age of 3 1/2. My pickiness scares me because if this is how I am acting about nursery school then when he goes to public school I'm sure that I am going to have a lot more issues with how things are done. I would love to send my kids to private school but as of right now I don't see that happening. But in a couple of years when he is actually in Kindergarten who know if things will change. I also think homeschooling sounds wonderful but I do not have the capacity to do something like that- I would be doing my kids more a disservice by trying to teach them myself.

I will wait until after the holidays to see if having other boys in his class changes things and if this gut feeling I have that this is not the right school goes away. At the same time, I am going to look into other options for my son to see if there is a better fit out there.