Calling All Cruise Directors...

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I don't fit in with the pre-school moms, which to me is a good thing.

I am old school in the sense of I don't feel like my kids need to be signed up for lots of activities at such a young age and the term "play date" makes me roll my eyes (it sounds so prissy- whatever happened to saying do you want to come over my house and play? are kids these days so busy that they need dates?). And going to a play group or joining a mom group- well that just seems like a torture worse than being up all night with a screaming baby. I have always said that I refuse to be friends with someone just because their kids are the same age as mine- I've sacrificed enough by becoming a mom and I refuse to forfeit my dignity by hanging out with someone that I don't want to.

I am the type of mom who expects my kids to be able to entertain themselves- if someone says that they're bored my response is find something to do. I am not a taxi service or an ATM machine that dispenses countless amounts of money for activities. You want to play with someone? Play with your sibling or if plausible the neighbors. I mean, isn't one of the reasons I had three kids so that they could play with each other? If I wanted to hear boredom whining I would have had just one kid and saved myself a lot of trouble.

When I was a kid back in the dark ages of the late eighties/early nineties I played with the neighborhood kids and I was in Girl Scouts. That was my life. I don't remember my mom trucking my butt all over town for multiple "play dates" every week or signing me up for tons of activities. You know what the neighbor kids and I did? We would climb trees, have dirt ball fights and explore the woods. If I tried setting foot back in the house before dinner time my mom promptly kicked me out.

Now I know some people may not have other kids in their neighborhoods so trucking your kid around to friends houses may be a necessity- but please quit saying "play dates". It is such a helicopter parent term that personifies how this generation of kids is being turned into little wussies who need mommy and daddy to constantly pacify them.

Me, I prefer my kids to know that mommy is not their concierge. I have tons of junk to get done during the day which all pertains to their happiness and well being so the added job of on board cruise director is not something I want to add to my plate right now.

Sleep Deprived and Oh So Annoyed...

It is 5:15 am and the baby has been awake for over an hour and refuses to go back to sleep. I am so tired that I feel like my head is going to fall off and roll across the floor and I am still sick.

This is not the day to be dealing with this because today was already going to be one of those days. My son has a dentist's appointment this morning which is the first one that I will have to drag three kids to. I already have a headache thinking about the chaos that will ensue. My son is so well behaved at the dentist that he is not the problem. It is my two year old daughter who will have the issue- I think the nice way of describing a kid like her is precocious but I like to call her a drama queen/diva. Then there is the baby. The baby is a good little girl but has the tendency to hate going places and to top that off she is still sick. Hopefully I can bring some random crap for my two year to play with to keep her occupied and maybe if I put the baby in the baby carrier she will be quiet and nap through the appointment.

Then, after lunch my son is going over a friend from school's house to play. This is the first time he has gone over someone's house from school and he is very excited. When I told him last night that I would be dropping him off and not staying he got upset so I guess I may have to hang around for a bit. This is inducing a headache already because if I stay then my daughter and the baby obviously have to stay too. As I said before, the baby hates going places and my daughter can be a total pain sometimes. I am thinking (hoping) that when we get there my son will be so excited to e with his friend that he will tell me to scram but we shall see.

Sometimes I really think that us stay at home moms get the shaft. I would honestly right now rather be the breadwinner for the family and be getting a good night's sleep and not have to deal with bringing the three kids every which where; plus if I were ever sick I could call into work and actually get to recuperate while my house-husband minded the kids. As it is right now I get to be sick with the added privlage of caring for a sick baby all day and night.

Maybe once this child falls back asleep this morning I'll stop being such a grouch and realize how lucky I am to be able to stay home with the kids all day (as we used to say back in the 90's, NOT!).

Disclaimer: If there are grammatical errors I apologize but I am too tired to go back and proofread this.

Dreaming of Day Care...

Google is great for a stay at home mom. Case in point, today I googled "sometimes I don't like my four year old son" and it came up with a link to a blog post that completely sums up how I am feeling right now.

Lately my son, who is almost four, has been antagonizing his little sister and completely not listening to anything I say. Being that I have been tired and worn out lately putting up with him fighting with his sister and his failure at listening I have been at my wit's end.

Last night I started to feel lightheaded and started getting the chills and a pounding headache and of course when I woke up this morning I still felt awful. Since I can't call in sick to this wonderful job of motherhood I asked my son to please be a good boy (with an emphasis on the please). Well, no dice on that one. I have had an absolutely horrible day so far and finally banished both kids to take naps.

Sometimes I really don't like my son- not him as a person but how he acts. He was never a perfect angel but his recent behavior has turned me into the kind of mom I never thought I would be. I end up yelling at him and yes, I sometimes even scream when the yelling doesn't work. I have even tried spanking him which is something that I don't even really believe in and you know what? It didn't make him behave and I just felt like a total ass for doing it.

So here I sit in tears wondering how I am going to get through this. My only saving grace is on Saturdays when I go to work for 10 hours, which is so pathetic that my only time to myself is going to work. Saturday morning is the only morning that I don't dread waking up because I don't feel like a complete failure as a mom when I'm at work.

And to those who think I'm awful for writing the truth, I'm just trying to keep it real here. Mommy blogs all too often run rampant with moms writing about how much they love being home with their kids and blah, blah, blah. I call total bull on all of it. I love my kids but being home with them is far from the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. It is hard sometimes and sometimes I dream about having a full time job and sticking them in daycare. Other times it is wonderful, but recently only when both kids are not in the same room at the same time.