Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Coming to Terms...

I have a really had time talking to others about how I feel about my miscarriage because I don't like to make others feel uncomfortable and I know that a situation like this does just that. People don't know what to say or how to feel about it- this includes everyone I know. I can't even get myself to talk about it with my husband because I know he is sad and that he feels helpless- he wants to make me feel better but he has no idea how to. I don't want to make my husband feel like he is helpless in making me feel better. I don't want to make other people sad.

Me, I am sad. I would even say that I am very depressed right now. I am sad that I lost my baby. I am sad that I feel a bit resentful of people who have never gone through this. I am sad that while I am suffering on the inside the world has gone on as if nothing happened.

Everything happened so quickly. I knew that this was going to happen but when it actually did happen it was fast. Sunday night I started bleeding and cramping and by Monday morning my baby was gone and I was expected to jump back into my life without even a day to fully mourn what I lost. Everyday I suck it up and try to do my best at being a mom but at night when everyone is asleep everything I held in all day comes out and I just cry.

I know that with time things will get easier and that I won't always be crying myself to sleep but I will never forget my little angel who is up in heaven.

This will be my last post about my loss. Thank you everyone for leaving such touching comments and for your prayers through this difficult time for my family and I.

No comments:

Post a Comment