Super Villain in the Making...

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My son is five and has turned into a pathological lier.

At first it stated out as little lies when I asked if he did something wrong and he said no. Then he graduated into making up lies out of thin air to get his sister in trouble (next time you say your sister hurt you, don't tell me that she bit you but the marks are invisible). To get the truth out of him I use the age old mom weapon of lieing through my teeth (yes, call me a hypocrite if you must). I tell him that I saw what happened so he better tell me the truth or he will be in big trouble (right now the threat is I will erase Plants vs. Zombies from his Kindle Fire). This always works and the truth comes out. Then we have a talk about why lying is wrong and that he needs to always tell me the truth blah, blah, blah. Our conversation never sticks and then he is back to lieing at which time the whole process starts over again- I am hoping someday the lieing is bad thing will stick.

The other night at bedtime my daughter wanted her Kindle Fire to use for a bit (yes, my three year old has a Kindle- I was desperate to get her to poop on the potty and we only paid $140 for it. we got my son some super expensive toy to bribe him to poop on the potty that he doesn't even play with anymore so I figured a Kindle would be a better investment this time around). I couldn't find it so I asked my son if he knew where it was and he said no. My husband and I went crazy looking for it through the whole house and my husband took one for the team and looked through he nasty garbage. I asked my son one more time and with some cajoling he showed me where he hid it- under his star wars helmet on his dresser. Boy, was I angry. I asked him why he hid it and he said that Alli was being mean to him. I told him that was fine but when I asked him where it was he should have told me and then I took away his Kindle as punishment. We had another conversation about why lieing is wrong but for some reason I have a hunch that that one won't stick either.

Someday he'll get it and hopefully it is before he is an adult and I send him off into the world- the last thing I need is for one of my kids to be a diabolical super villain.

Whole Milk Does Not Make You Fat, Silly Doctor...

Does anyone else ever lie to doctors?

I'm not talking about lying about serious things but about the silly things that doctors make a big deal about that aren't a big deal.

Today, to avoid a lecture from my two year old daughter's doctor, I lied to her and said we were switching over to low fat milk from whole milk. She always seems shocked when I tell her that we drink whole milk because my husband, my kids and myself are all skinny (well I'm not skinny right now- I feel like a big fat cow because I'm pregnant). I swear she thinks that drinking whole milk makes people fat. Well, um no- eating lots of crappy food makes people fat. My kids are not fat because I don't feed them pop tarts and cheetos and they don't play video games for hours each day. If my kids were fat because of my parental laziness I suppose I could cut out the whole milk but really, when you are letting your kids scarf Happy Meals every day is switching to low fat milk really going to make a difference? Shouldn't doctors instead of asking what type of milk your kids drink ask you if they eat fatty, unhealthy foods?

So yeah, I lied. Whole milk rules.