Last night I had a Crohn's flare up and it was so painful I was in tears. I ended up sleeping on the couch with a heating pad and only got about an hour's worth of actual sleep. I have pinned it down to a couple of different things and right now and living on a diet of white rice until I feel better.
I am feeling so discouraged right now. There is no magical diet that ensures those with Crohn's Disease will avoid getting sick and there are many who that just changing their diet isn't enough and they have to go on medicine. So I guess I should say I feel discouraged but lucky because at least I can still try and make myself feel better by controlling what I eat- going on medicine is something I will do everything in my power to avoid.
I've cut gluten and dairy out of my diet which has been making me feel better but now I think I may need to go more extreme and cut out chips (tortilla chips, gluten free chips, etc.), refined sugar, spicy foods and acidic drinks (orange juice, lemonade, etc.) Basically my diet will only be whole foods with nothing at all processed though I am going to still eat gluten free pasta for now.
Sounds great right? Well I think it sucks. I think eating healthy is awesome but I also believe that everything is fine in moderation. There is no moderation for me now it it makes me want to throw my self on the floor and have a temper tantrum. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to imbibe in some greasy Chinese food or have a bowl of ice cream but I just can't, at least not without getting sick.
It also sucks because as we all know, the less processed stuff you eat the more time you need to spend in the kitchen prepping food. I am going to have to put a concentrated effort each week on making sure I have food that is prepped in the fridge and/or freezer for me to eat. Prepping stuff for my family is a no biggie because it is my "job" and I enjoy taking care of them. Prepping stuff for myself is a pain because I always put myself last; after doing everything else there never seems to be time for me to do things for me.
Okay, I am done with my pity party. Now onto why I am grateful.
Being sick has opened my eyes to what is in the food we eat. It has given me an acute awareness that what we eat directly affects our health, no matter if we are a sick person or healthy person. If I hadn't been cursed with Crohn's Disease I am not sure I would be making such a big push to better myself. These things are making me a better mom and wife because I am more conscious about the foods my family gets (though my husband will never, no matter how hard I try to convince him, give up his junk food stash that is hidden on the top shelf of the pantry- and oh yes, his soda).
I will never be cured from what I have but I feel like if I can give my body the best foods possible I can live a healthy life without having to take medicine with potentially harmful side effects. I will not let Crohn's Disease take over my life.