Pity Party...

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The other day we had to go to our old town to do something. I really didn't think anything of going there but once we were driving through I became overcome with emotion.

We drove by the nursery school that Allison was supposed to go, the one my son went to for two years- the one she was so excited to attend in the fall. We drove by the elementary school that Tyler was supposed to go to, the one that we were going to walk to everyday with our neighbors. We drove by the street we used to live on that had the house we used to live in- the house that we had so many memories in and that we thought we would continue making memories in. I brought two of my babies home in that house. That was the only place Tyler, and obviously the girls, remembered being in.

It has been over a month since we moved. The excitement of being far away from my in-laws has worn off (though I am beyond happy to be far away from them) and now a little sadness has set in. Life is different for us. We have no extra money for anything, including nursery school for Allison. We are living in a completely different area with no one we know nearby. We are basically starting over from the ground floor trying to keep things going with three young children. The stress I am feeling right now is awful and the resentment and hatred I feel for my in laws for what they did to us is something I am having a hard time letting go of. Quite honestly, I personally want to sever all ties with them though I have no issues with my husband having a relationship with them or the kids seeing them. After the way my father in law treated me and the way my mother in law just sat back and let it happen I want nothing to do with them.

Life is so funny, how everything can change in the blink of an eye. I know that we'll make it through this rough patch because my husband and I love each other and we love our kids. To sound like a selfish teenager, this sucks.