Saturday, October 16, 2010

That Is How Three Year Olds Act...

If you are a parent I am sure you have heard this before- "That is how (fill in the blank with age) year olds act". This usually comes after you are telling someone (in laws, your parents- cough, cough) about how your child was doing something they shouldn't have been doing.

Maybe it is just me, but I get really (I mean really) annoyed by comments like this. Yes, my three year old son not listening at soccer practice and being just a tad bit disruptive may be how a three year old will act but guess what- I find it unacceptable for him to take away from other kids' experience because he wants to pick up artificial turf and pretend to eat it.

Why is it that people want to coddle children by setting the bar so low as to excuse everything they do with "kids will be kids"? If I tell my son that it is OK to not listen to his coach (or teacher, or friend's mom, etc.) then what kind of child am I raising? Shouldn't we, as parents, set the bar high for our kids so they have something to reach for? They will not always meet these goals but at least they will try and will have some sense of accomplishment in their lives whereas if we set the bar low (as in "kids will be kids") then they will never have to put effort into bettering themselves at anything.

So yes, my son may march to the beat of his own drum (which is fine and a good quality to have) but he also needs to know that in society there are rules and expectations of how we all should act as children and as adults. My job is to love my children and raise them to be productive members of society and letting them just do what they want to do does not accomplish that in any way, shape or form.

So yes, I suppose kids will be kids but pushovers will be pushovers and will raise children who have no idea how to cope with the real world as adults.


  1. Haha... Couponer is my part time "job" so I'm full time special education teacher at a high school. My students typically are cognitively low and sometimes "bad" as others call them.

    The generalized notion around the HS is that those kids are the "bad kids" so it's okay that they act "bad." Which is completely ridiculous!! So when I spend time reprimanding poor behavior and keeping kids afterschool for detention, my colleagues roll their eyes saying, "why so much work - they're just gonna be bad because they're the bad sped kids"

    I completely agree with you!! Poor behavior, at any age, is not really acceptable!! Good for you for standing your ground!

  2. Thank you! It is nice to know that there are others with with common sense still. It seems like people like to take the easy way out when it comes to raising kids which in the long run doesn't do anyone any good. Good for you too for caring about your students enough to guide their behavior!

  3. Just found your blog and must admit that I agree completely. My comment to a neighbor that has a grandchild that acts horrible and is constantly playing with my kids outside was "So at what age are you going to wait to let him know this is not ok. 10, 12, 18 or when he is in jail and the judge asks didn't anybody ever teach you any better. As you can tell I am very tired of making my kids come inside from playing because I don't want them learning his bad habits.

  4. My in laws were that way raising my husband and brother in law. My brother in law has been in and out of jail and rehab more times than you can count and hasen't had a job for almost two years. My in laws still make excuses for him and pay his way (he is 31). So when they tell me kids will be kids I look at my brother in law and how they raised him and I say no way- even though my son can be a little monster sometimes I am always there correcting his behavier becuase I don't want him to turn out like that.