Saturday, May 8, 2010

Do I Have A Severence Package?

Being a mom is my full time job and it is a job that I have wanted as long as I can remember.

When my son was born three years ago I instantly fell in love with him. We took him home and my world was turned upside down- I mean holey crap; who knew a baby was so demanding? My bliss at being a new mom was often overshadowed by feeling like I was failing at my new job. My son was well fed, taken care of and loved but everything else was awful. The house was a mess, laundry was not done, dinner was not cooked and don't even get me started about how my personal hygiene took a backseat to everything else. As a mom I was doing great but if I would have had a performance review I would have been in line at the unemployment office. For anyone who has ever had a job that they love nothing is worse than feeling like you are not good enough even though you try your hardest.

After my daughter was born almost a year ago things were very different. I became very sufficient at my job of a mom to one and when my beautiful little girl came along she seamlessly integrated into our lives. I knew what to expect and was mentally prepared. The house stayed (pretty) clean, laundry got done, dinner got made and I can report that I never smelled bad. I was great at my job of being a mom and it made me feel good.

Even though I am getting better at this mom thing with each passing day, there are still some days where I wonder if I can punch out, hand in my keys and say see ya later- good luck because you'll need it. The days where my son smears poop all over his stuffed animal and books (he needed somewhere to wipe it, right?) and my daughter is screaming because she wants to be held all of the time all while the dog hair on the floor is forming it's own colony and the dishes in the sink are piled so high that I don't even think there is a sink there.

There are days where I think "if these were someone else's kids I would have quit a long time ago" and then I think "what kind of mom lets her kids act like this (insert picture of me waving)?"

But then the majority of times I am smiling and laughing because these kids are my kids and they are cute and funny and make me feel like the best mom in the world.

So I guess I'll keep my job- I get health and dental insurance, no pay, no vacation or sick time, a company vehicle but most importantly I have two little boogers who think I'm great at it.

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