Saturday, August 27, 2011

Happy Pee Pee to You...

My daughter has been peeing on the potty all by herself which is wonderful. I was stressing out about the whole potty training thing because I wanted to make sure it was done before I had the baby but then I gave up because I was just too tired to deal with it.

Well, my little missy must have seen that soiling her diaper didn't bother me anymore and decided that since she wasn't annoying me she might as well start going on the toilet. She still poops in her pull up but I am just going to let her stop doing that on her own too. I refuse to put real underwear on her because cleaning toddler poop out of underwear is gross and I did enough of it with my son to last me a lifetime.

If anyone is looking for potty training advice I just want to say any advice anyone gives you is bogus. All kids are different and respond to different techniques. That annoying person who goes on about how her little princess potty trained herself at 12 months old is dumb- ignore her. That other annoying person who goes on about how their little prince pooped his pants until he was in Kindergarten but it was fine because she didn't want to pressure him is dumb- ignore her. Ignore your mom, your friends, your neighbors, the old lady in front of you in line at the drugstore when you are buying size 6 diapers, all of the parenting magazines and any other sources of potty training advice. Screw them all.

My son took major bribing (candy and toys) and many hours with his little butt planted on the toilet (while watching tv, playing with play dough, playing with very expensive toys we bribed him with) for him to be potty trained. My daughter took me not giving a crap, M&M's and sticking a birthday candle in a roll, lighting it, singing "happy pee pee to you, happy pee pee to you, happy pee pee dear Alli, happy pee pee to you" and letting her blow out the candle. The little baby who is growing in my belly right now- who the hell knows what it will take to potty train her? For all I know I'll be so frazzled that she'll run around the house like a wild dog defecating all over the floor.

So I guess my only advice is that I have none because no matter how many kids I have I'll still be completely clueless as to what I am doing (and every other parent is the same whether they want to admit it or not- so don't listen to anything they have to say either).

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