On Monday I had my 12 week OB visit at which I had an ultrasound.
I have to tell you that I was so nervous when I lay on the ultrasound table and literally held my breath until I saw the baby on the screen. The baby was great and had a good heartbeat so I felt much better. You see, the first miscarriage I had I was when I was about 12 weeks along. My 12 week appointment was on a Monday and I lost the baby on Sunday, so instead of my appointment the next day being joyful I got to talk to a nurse about losing my baby and if I wanted to go on birth control so I wouldn't get pregnant again before I was ready. I did go on to have two healthy children after that but then had another miscarriage this past October at about eight weeks along.
So, this last appointment was a big deal for me. Seeing the baby moving and hearing it's heartbeat has made me feel like I cleared a large hurdle in my pregnancy and that perhaps from this point on I can relax a bit (plus it actually looked liked a real baby with a head, arms and legs). No longer will I need to check for blood every time I go to the bathroom or worry about any cramps I may have. I can embrace my pregnancy and actually mean it when I tell people that I am excited.
Maybe now I will even let myself complain about the less than wonderful side effects of pregnancy such as awful heartburn, extremely frequent urination, aches and pains and all around moodiness.
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