Way Too Green, As In So Green I am Going Throw Up

Today in my mailbox was an issue of Kiwi Magazine. I don't remember when I signed up for it but I know it was free and I love free magazines.

So I read through the issue and was like "holy crap- what is this?".

I want to preface what I am about to write with the fact that I am not "green". I only recycle because my town charges an arm and a leg for town trash bags, otherwise all of my trash (which is what it is- cardboard, plastic or poop filled diapers) would go to the garbage dump where trash belongs. I drive a wonderful brand new VW minivan which guzzles gas the way I used to guzzle alcohol back in my younger years (for those of you who don't know me that means a lot) and I do not have a second thought about aimlessly driving around town while my exhaust fumes leak up to the atmosphere. I am an all around non "green" person in almost every aspect of my life.

I know, I know- boo to me. I am so horrible because I don't consider myself to be mother earth's BFF. Whatever. The "green" bandwagon is one that I will not be jumping on.

So on to Kiwi magazine. Holy over the top green freak and organic junkie heaven. Here are some examples of ridiculousness that I read:

-In the letters to the editor a woman wrote in thanking the magazine because she now knew she wasn't crazy because she swears that her daughter has a bad reaction to the red dye in foods even though her own doctor told her she was crazy. My son must be having a reaction to oxygen because he never listens to me.

-Having packages shipped really fast is bad for the environment- choose a longer shipping method. This holiday season I have single handedly killed twenty five square miles of the rain forest because of the volume of packages I have received from Amazon with their free 2-day Prime shipping. Sorry Mr. toucan- my kids needs toys, lots and lots of toys.

Ridiculous stuff or not- it is a free magazine and does have some good stuff splashed throughout it so I will continue to enjoy my free subscription. And yes, I will recycle it- not because I want to but because I am cheap and don't like buying town trash bags.